Saturday, November 28, 2009

The failure that is Raietteiwaitteman

I am failure.

That's all there is to it. Nothing I have done is success. Everything is fail.
I came across this revelation while in Wal-Mart, searching for... things... when I met up with one of my friends from that place I went to during the Summer...

I'd not conversed with this guy for over a year... but he knew everything about me in an instant. I still live at home. I still can't drive. I still work at Pizza Hut. I still collect toys. About the only thing that changed since last we met is that I bombed the comic.

All my life, I've been told that I would be a failure at everything I do. It's been so bad that I recently began to believe that. I've been told that by my grandmother every day I lived there. It was basically my "good morning" from her. She's basically the reason I started the comic in the first place... I just wanted acceptance from her finally... I never once heard from her that I wasn't anything but a failure, then she passed away... And she forgot who I was. This, of course, was my limit. I'm in a slump. What made me finish High School? Exactly that. When my COUNSELOR, the one who's been making me actually have enough drive to STAY in school, told my parents that I wouldn't be successful at ANYTHING...

I snapped.

It was this that made me finish High School. Fast. I made up 18 credits in three weeks. I finished before anybody else did. One week before graduation.

Who was at MY graduation ceremony? Nobody. I was handed the diploma, and nobody but my parents (who were the only ones that cheered me on, basically,) clapped.

This empty auditorium actually haunts my dreams. To this day.

After that, I lost all the drive to do anything. I leave EVERYTHING unfinished. Nothing I do... well... MOSTLY nothing I do is good enough for me.
I am suck itself. I only see flaws.

I could never make friends besides those that can't see my face. I feel like everybody judges me. Every move I make is being watched. I feel quite alone.

No, I'm not going to get poetic. I can't, anyway.

I need help. I've got to get back on my feet. Grandma would have just loved for me to sit here, slumped on the floor. That counselor? I've got to prove that I'm more than just a wasted mind. Everybody else? They're not just there to rate me on everything. Some... actually might like me.

Huh. Thanks, journal. I needed that.

Yeah. I guess I'll share. It feels REALLY good to get that all out.

Time to get rid of all this debt I owe. Starting small.

All those pictures I owe to people... Especially one certain individual who I've kept waiting OVERLY long enough.

For that, I'm sorry.

I know you're watching.

And Sunrise? We really need to talk.

Everybody else? It's obvious I need you. I can get through all this... I just need your help.


--Not the Point?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sunrise Falls's survey thing.

Just reposting this from my Furaffinity place. Stole it from Sunrise Falls.

Full Name:
Joshua C. Littlewhiteman
Were you named after anyone? After the biblical guy, I suppose
Do you wish on stars? Not really.
When did you last cry? Last weekend
Do you like your handwriting? Eh. Don't love it.
What is your favorite lunchmeat? Pepperoni is cool.
What is your birth date? July 19, 1990
What is your most embarrassing CD? Suessical the Musical.
If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? I'd hope so, but probably not.
Are you a daredevil? Nononononononono
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Not really.
Do looks matter? Not terribly so.
What is 'sexy' about you? NEXT!
How do you release anger? By quietly thinking it over in a corner alone.
Where is your second home? My grandmother's former house.
What was your favorite toy as a child? An old G2 Laser Optimus Prime. (I sold it D:)
What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Auto shop. We did NOTHING in that class. NOTHING BUT SIT.
Do you have a journal? O
ther than here? No.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Only to my friends.
Favorite movies? Just one?
What are your nicknames? Wheels, Big Guy, Jasper, Flame, Raiettei, Shadow, Hey, and Yogurt
Would you bungee jump? Are you talking to ME??? O.O
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Never.
Do you think that you are strong? Physically? Not very. Emotionally? Even less so.
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? I can't eat it. :<
Shoe Size? 14 Wide Mens
What are your favorite colors? Green, Blue, and silver.
What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My looks. Face, mostly.
Who do you miss most? ...Many people. Most of which are deceased now.
Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? What?
What color pants are you wearing? Faded green.
What are you listening to right now? Metal man's theme
Last thing you ate? Frybread
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Yellow-green.
What is the weather like right now? VERY cold.
Last person you talked to on the phone: A customer. (Pizza Hut)
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Mouth. Or Face, naturally.
Do you like the person who sent this to you? Sun? Yeah. If you don't know by now...
How Are You Today? Been better.
Favorite Drink? Water, yes.
Favorite Sport? I like bowling, if that counts.
Hair Color? Black
Eye Color? VERY dark brown.
Do you wear contacts? Hahaha... no.
Favorite Food? A some sort of pizza thing I made.
Last Movie You Watched? Paranormal Activity.
Favorite Day Of The Year? October 30th to November 1st.
Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? happy endings
Summer Or Winter? Summer. X<
Hugs OR Kisses? Hugs. Want one? I do.
What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Fruit I don't happen to be allergic to.
Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Uhh... who hasn't done this yet?
Who Is Least Likely To Respond? EVERYBODY! HA!
Living Arrangements? A trailer. Better than it sounds.
What Book(s) Are You Reading? Skipping Christmas
What’s On Your Mouse Pad? I have none.
What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Laptops count, right? G1 Transformers
Favorite Smells? Fresh blueberry pie.
Rolling Stones or Beatles? Rolling stones, I guess.
Do you believe in Evolution or Creationism? Evolution
What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? Washington DC, yes.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Reassurance of Awesomeness

Sometimes, I just need reassurance that I'm still awesome. I mean... yeah.

You wanna know what? I wish I didn't freeze up whenever it comes to socialness (I'm reminded of that dance the other week at Anime Banzai... and every other dance I've attended, for that matter)... I mean... I feel so pathetic whenever it comes to such things. I stand around nervously, thinking of ways to escape while also acknowledging that I really, REALLY want to get out there and dance. I'm always trying to forget about all of this. I'm better than it. I swear. But...

I'm simply not strong enough. I've been turned down many times the past few years, I'm just afraid. (Not to mention the best I could do before was Bekka, and... Maddi knows exactly how THAT turned out. >.>) You know what? I think I just explained to myself why the "Prom Night" arc in Got the Point? is so... bleak. Huh.

I don't know how to talk to females unless they make the first comment. And, unless THEY keep it up, it becomes an EXTREMELY awkward moment. This is why most of my conversations consist of "Hi, Josh!" "...H-hey! Uhhmm..." And then five seconds of silence followed by both parties leaving while making careful attention to avoid each other the rest of the day. I wanna change that.

Back to the original subject: My life is ruled by acceptance by other people. I need not talk about my grandmother and my aspirations to have her accept me or anything, do I? No? Okay then. I mean, I feel like I do everything I can to get others to notice my stuff (which, by the way, is how I met both Maddi and Lauren. I'm not too sure why I talk about them like I don't expect either of them to read this... because they're the ONLY people who read this thing... <.<)

This makes me feel like I get pret-ty annoying.

You know what doesn't help AT ALL? My fear of being around too many people. Being surrounded makes me hyperventilate. This fortunately doesn't show up that often, but when it does... gah.

All this and more are reasons why I don't have that many friends around here. I only have two that I haven't lost contact with or refuse to talk to me (trust me... they exist.).
One friend, called Madison, has been with me since 2004. She filled the role of "weird blonde kid that's friends with my friend's sister". In the time-frame of two months, she became "second best friend," then, once Bekka stopped talking to me, became "weird blonde kid that also happens to be my only friend". She makes a point to speak to me over chat almost every day. These days, you might know her as Sunrise Falls or Rain.
The other, named Lauren, has known me since 2007. She held the title of "roommate's friend that wanted to see my art". I was amazed at how fast I became connected to her... since there were only thirty days to know her. A year later, I get tackle hugs. Another year later, I go places only because of encouragement from her.

Needless to say, I'm glad I know them both. Without them, I'd be totally lost and alone.

I'm getting somewhat gushy right now. There are definitely tears on the sides of my eyes right now.

So... I'm gonna stop.

Wow. I just made a post about my insecurities. I think I'm making progress. I just revealed some weaknesses.


--Got the Point?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Unpublished Portfolio: 01

So... first off, let me tell you a little story...

A few months ago, my friend (or whatever you call her) got the idea to pay me for a drawing... but it would have to be "anything I want". I was like "sure!"

What I wasn't expecting was how much effort I would be putting into this.

Or how much drawings I would end up making.

Or how... different the art would end up being like.

I've never drawn stuff like that, let me tell ya. Before, I mean. I guess I should thank her, because I wouldn't have... err... yeah.

Much more mature things than I'd like to admit. Not that it would really change anything... but... that sorta makes Got the Point? my bleached underpants, hm?

Let's take the latest installment, of which I am still working on... Here's the exact words used (copy and paste rules!)

"Hey, Rai!

Guess what!? I've got another job for ya! Lucheek's profile cleaning has given me an idea... I'd like for you to actually draw one of your abandoned storylines for me! Given the theme of Lucheek's cleaning (JACK fancomics, natch), I'd like for it to be "The Wrath of Jack", mkay?
Not just any reimagining, though... I'd like it to be written as if it were canon to your current write up of GTP?! That means Mocula hoodoo-voodoo and whatnot! Secret agents! Whucha!
And yes... I'd like a decent violence level... don't go overboard, but don't get unrealistically underboard, either. That doesn't mean gratuitous blood, though. A "Vega kills Shanic" level of violence. Is that clear enough?
Nudity level? Same as you'd allow in GTP?. I mean, I want it written as if you could shove it into the comic somewhere, so... right.
Same goes for language. That means only about one dammit in the entire thing, if even that.
I'd also like the cameo by JACK to be gone. Or at least noticeably gone. Know'dai mean?
A minimum of 5 pages and a maximum of 15. You can definitely handle that. It's an incredibly short story.
I'd like to see what you'll do with Cass, considering that she's not... you know... anymore. Same with Mynk, considering she was one of Jaccent's first victims in the original story... and now that she can resurrect and is Jack's friend-friend-ifyouknowwhatImean-friend... Yeah.

That's your mission, should you choose to accept. There's $30 in it for ya if you do it right. There's a guarantee of $10... so... you'll get SOMETHING for it, at least.

Last detail: Black and white. Color just wouldn't fit the style.

Okay! Byechas!
^_~/ *wink* g'bie! Rain Sunrise Falls."

So... that's how it goes.
Another thing: She wants me to publish it here and on DA when I'm done with it, and after evaluation. In the meantime, here's a link to the control art of the main character from said storyline: Jaccent.

Just a heads-up of things to come.

--Got the Point?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Blank Rai


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Does Mossy need a hug?

Yeah. I think Mossy needs a hug. And a cookie.

Sunday, October 4, 2009


I have something to say.

I'm a furry.

Abandon all information you've learned about furries up to this point. The actual definition is "person that likes anthropomorphic animals." I know I didn't help myself with that comment and I know it. Whatever. I like the art.

Now that that's out of the way...

I was just surfing around the Utah section of Wikifur, when I decided to make THIS.

I rock today. If it's not deleted by tomorrow, then I don't fail!

Let's see... let's see...

(Yes, this was a slow news week. Why do you ask?)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Boo! Ahahaha!

So as you may, or more likely, may not know, every year at October, I get to work at the most wonderful place from 6 to Midnight... The Haunted Woods! *thunder*

The Haunted Woods (hereforth abbreviated as THW) is but one of the many projects created by Dave Davis. I'll do another blog post on him. He's elling awesome. Every year, he takes inspiration from the newest fad scary movies and make them reality in the hand made labyrinth that is the woods.

This year, the biggest theme is My Bloody Valentine. We knew this from last July. What we didn't know is how far he would take it! He... built... a... big... freaking... MINE in the middle of the woods! He created tunnels! He created a MAZE out of the ground! It's better than it sounds.

Every year, it's more like he procrastinates on every project. Every year, whatever he was hoping to build, it would never get done. This year, my face was like 8-| for a full twenty minutes. It's THAT good.

But anyway... What do I do at THW? I sell food. Well... my family sells food, I just work for them. We sell burgers and burger type accessories. At one point in the past, we also sold hot dogs. But... those are cheap. Too easy to make. Too... cheap. All anybody wanted to buy were these side orders! So we dropped them from the menu and now our main items, Indian Tacos (or ICBs (Indian Cheeseburgers)) are the top orders.

So what does Dave do this year? Hire somebody that make hot dogs. And nachos. And chili (our trademark, btw). And popcorn. And fountain drinks. And... she's driving away our sales! She's selling all of the snack food that we can't carry! And works less at it, too!

And I can't hate her because she's the nicest person I've ever met!!!


We've been going out of business throughout the year. The only thing that could save us is THW... and... the professional caterers that they've hired are killing us.

I never thought we would ever close down shop.

We've been going solid for twelve years now. I've been with them for nine. We've spent today trying to make our stand look more impressive... but... I'm... pessimistic. To say the best.

Meh. Whatever. I've got another shift to get to now. I'd... better go now.


--Got the Point?

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Some more Anime Banzai

I missed preregistration. For weeks, I didn't have enough money to do it. When I finally do, prereg is closed.

So... yeah.

I'm still going, but it'll have to be the more expensive single day passes that you buy at the door >.>

Fireman's coming pretty nicely. Still don't have any actual fire, but what I do have is... cool.

Dad's been making me some custom stickers for the costume. Some flammable ones, the Dr. Wily symbol, and some 8-bit Fireman symbols.

Mom's been helping me with the sewing, due to me only having one lesson about five years ago. (I made a throw pillow, fyi) And I've got the plans.

The cat doesn't help me.

But anyway... everything's going according to plan.

So... yeah.

Got the point?

Friday, September 25, 2009

I can't defeat Fireman...

It just occurred to me that I've been through this place again and again, and in the same place every time, I repeatedly die...
I never will give up, but it's so difficult to navigate the skies,
and now I see that I can't even scratch the level boss...

If I only had the Flame Blast, I'd be fine.
It would make it so much easier to fight with Bombman.
But every time, somehow, every time, somehow, every time I lose...

I can't defeat Fireman,
no matter how I try to dodge his walls of flames,
he always kills me again
And even though I can get behind him,
it's no use, I try to fight, but he always burns me up in the end.
I shoot as fast as I can,
but when I had to go up against Fireman's Flame Buster, I was helpless again!
I'll try again, of course, but THIS is my plan!
I'll keep my life gauge up in reserve as long as I caaaaaan...

It just occurred to me that my life bar is almost empty again, if I don't find some energy, I'll never survive...
I never will give up, as I attempt to cross this ever-flowing lava from the tubes, but again, I keep getting burned by them...

If I only had the Ice Break, I'd be fine.
It would make it so much easier to fight with Fireman.
But every time, somehow, every time, somehow, every time I lose...

I can't defeat Iceman,
no matter how I try to dodge his freezing spears,
he always kills me again
And even though I can get behind him,
it's no use, I try to fight, but he always chills me down in the end.
I shoot as fast as I can,
but when I had to go up against Icemans barrages, I was helpless again!
I'll try again, of course, but THIS is my plan!
I'll keep my life gauge up in reserve as long as I caaaaaan...


If I only had the Spark Shoot, I'd be fine.
It would make it so much easier to fight with Iceman.
But every time, somehow, every time, somehow, every time I lose...

I can't defeat Elecman,
no matter how I try to dodge his shocking bursts,
he always kills me again
And even though I can get behind him,
it's no use, I try to fight, but he just keeps closing in.
I shoot as fast as I can,
but when I had to go up against Elecmans agility, I was helpless again!
I'll try again, of course, but THIS is my plan!
I'll keep my life gauge up in reserve as long as I caaaaaan...

I can't defeat Megaman...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Legend of Rai: The Phantom Comic

Okay. Quit asking me when I update GTP. There's no answer I can give that'll satisfy either you nor me, so... yeah.

And the comic book series? I wish I knew! I'm thinking I'll simply reapply. They've not talked to me since July, so I guess I'm nonexistent to them. Fine by me, actually. They told me not to begin the project until they reply. Guess what? I'm beginning. Somebody give me a cover. I need one.

The first book will follow the online comic's first storyline intertwined with The Mark of Crypt. It'll be smoother. I've already written it up MANY times. I'm working with somebody new to me to work on speech bubbles. If anybody wants in, I'll let them into the project. No questions asked. I need all the help I can get.

The biggest roadblock I can predict, however, happens to be my other, aforementioned project, Sunrise Falls, which, as you know, is not just mine, I only draw it.


The Mark of Crypt storyline will cliffhang on a certain part. Since telling anybody not involved would be an obvious spoiler, I elect to only reveal it to volunteers. You could probably guess, though. It's already in the online version... just better (SUBJECTIVE!).

I plan on doing a personal project that will be included within the final pages of the book, as well. I mean, the only reason anybody would buy it is if they want to see a better written version of the same thing they can read for free online, or you just think I'm that awesome, right? So... this personal project will never find its way onto the Internet.

I'm not even telling you what it is!

And it's NOT character model sheets. Those will be viewed for free on my DA account later, when I get around to it. There's no reason why they should be exclusive.


I miss Talk like a Pirate Day... Which be the Sunday past, yarr.

The main reason why "Talk like a Ninja Day" never happened: "..." was all ANYBODY said... EVER.

What was THAT about? I'm ending this post... nnnnggg.... NOW!--



"Pan tsukutta koto aru" In Japanese means "Have you ever eaten bread before?" While
"Pantsu kutta koto aru" means "Have you ever eaten underwear before?"

Things like this are why I failed Japanese. -_-;;;

And English. Super hard. I'm glad I already speak it.

A single comma or period can change the whole sentence, you know?

Check this: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." vs. "A woman: without her, man is nothing."

Two completely opposite meanings there. Same sentence, just... different.

Meh. I just had to say something today.

Gotta chow. Ciao!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In a better place...

...Do you know how hard it is to explain to someone that the older family cats actually DID go to live on the farm?

A while back, Nate went to go to live with a new foster family that lived on a farm. He took the cats with him. They're probably dead by now, as they're both older than 12 years old. Tasha's at least 22.

But still...

I just want to explain that fact ONE TIME without somebody nervously looking away and telling me they're sorry?

Because they LITERALLY went to the farm! And it really WAS a better place! AND it's much more peaceful! And how many more cliches can I spur out???

That's all.

Sunrise Falls and other such tales

I'll begin this post by telling you about Sunrise Falls. A comic written by my good friend Maddi. It's Got the Point's first fanfiction! Go me. It's also illustrated by me. That takes some of the specialness out of it, but alas.
Sunrise Falls is the tale of Paris Anne Culpio, and the far-off town of Sunrise Falls. A little briefer on the characters so far:
Paris: The star of the show. She's a bit shy and likes photography.
Venice: Paris' older brother. He's kinda goofy.
Italy: Their mother. I'm unsure how to describe her.
France: Their father. Once again...
Karen: One of Paris' Scenera friends. She's one of the only three girls on the... *ahem* "sports" team.

And that's it so far. The site? It's currently under construction, but you can check progress HERE!

Next such tale: Pizza Hut. I've gotta talk about it some time. I mean... it's in the description up there, so why not?

For those not in the know, I work as a dishwasher at the pizza place. Lately, however, I've been reassigned to become the all around guy with a focus on waiting. I love waiting. I train waitresses on how to do their jobs. I train people on how to assemble pizzas. I train people on how to cut pizzas. I train people on how to do storage. I train people on how to create pasta. I train people on how to use the freaking dishwasher.

I love my job. I don't, however, like to rewash things that other, lazier people, have previously 'washed'. I mean, how hard is it to do dishes, anyway? You take dish. Apply water. Add soap. Scrub. Rinse. Put into dishwasher. Dry. Take them back.

Simple. (and clean. (the author was suddenly taken away and beat up for that. Never again))

Anyway... I'm pretty much the only constant worker there. Nobody has worked at Pizza Hut for more than two months at a time. I'm not altogether sure why. But then, I've worked there so long that I have forgotten what it's like starting off, so... my perspective is admittedly biased and skewed a bit. Anyway... people just arrive one day and say they quit. I believe in my 13 months of working there, only three people have actually given a two week notice. This is quite sad. They also have a tendency to quit the exact day when they'd be the most useful. Do they set us up like that? It sure seems that way!

Another such tale: The music player

You've no doubt noticed the music player on the bottom of the page by now. I mean, unless you read everything in this post in less than three seconds, or have the speakers muted, there's no way you could have missed it. I'm just pointing it out. I think it's keen. I stole the idea from THAT OTHER BLOG I FREQUENT, quite obviously. You should frequent it, too.


...That's a fun thing to say. You should say it, too.


Ahh, Serpentor. Where would I be without you?

Hmm... Another such tale? I... really don't have that much more to say, so...

Maybe next time!

--Me, Myself, and Rai

Thursday, September 10, 2009


We're leaving today.

We've got a tribal car and I've got days off.

We're leaving.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


My... My grandmother is on her deathbed. Do I need to go...

Almost all of my senses tell me "yes".

Except for that stupid one that tells me that I've missed WAY too many work days. I ignore that one.

My grandmother, Violet. She's the reason I'm the way I am. Feeling alone. Feeling inadequate. Feeling lost. Feeling stupid. She's the reason I can't talk to people. She's the reason why I consider myself to be a failure. She's the reason for my past suicidal thoughts (Those are long gone, thankfully, by the way). Every negative has spawned from her.

The only positive I can think of off the top of my head? My thoughts of 'I have to prove her wrong'.

She doesn't remember who I am.

I am a forgotten memory to her.

She doesn't recognize me.

All of those times she's told me how horrible of a human I am, doing things I never did... The only thing I ever wanted from her was a congratulations for ANYTHING I did. They never came. Ever. No matter what I did, how I did it, it was not enough to convince her that I was anything but a failure.

These words stick to me from the trip to Montana I took a few weeks back. They've tore me up in a way not visible on the outside... "Who's Joshua?"

I was almost completely silent the rest of the day.

They make me uneasy just retyping them.

She got pneumonia last Thursday. She's likely not going to make it through next Saturday. Her former house... MY former home... is in ruins. The inspector told us not to even come NEAR it, it's so unlivable.

The only room that doesn't look ruined at all is my former room. The worst room of all? Her former room. The floor is completely warped.

I don't know why I had to say that, I just did.

You know what? I need to go. I NEED to go.

Nothing should stop me.

This what I would say, if it weren't for our car dying. Just now. Thirty five minutes ago. We can't drive it.

What should I do?


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Writing is fun!

I'm actually having FUN writing Mossy's Day!

This, to put it lightly, is surprising.

Perhaps it's because I can pump out strip sized narratives in two minutes flat, while ACTUAL strips take about two hours?

I dunno.

Maybe it's because I don't focus on Mossy that much, and I'm just now getting to know her? I'm inside of her head, and she doesn't know it. Okay. I might want to rephrase that, but whatever.

Maddi thought it was good. That's cool. She also thought that it could use more... Zale-ish-ness. I'm not doing that. Zale being Zale is... not PG rated. End of story.

No elaboration.

Anyway... that brings us to the comic.

Yeah. Three out of One Maddis agree: WE SUCK AT THIS!

The problem we have, is our lack of planning for things coming up in real life. Another problem is our inability to CONTINUE doing things after said real life passes over.

And monkey robots.
Don't forget the monkey robots.

And NOW we have the mistake of... wait for it... DRAWING EACH OTHER'S COMICS!!!

Both as birthday presents.


That's actually going smoothly for us. I draw the first few comics of Sunrise Falls, and Maddi draws the next few comics of Got the Point?. It helps when Sunrise Falls is a spinoff! ^^

I ish a happy Rai. :3

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mossy's Day -- Part 1: "MORNING"

Just a little while ago, I was thinking: I've not written anything in a long while. I mean, I've never liked what I've written ever, but it's just been bugging me. The last thing I wrote was... something that's still on the Interweb somewhere, but am too embarrassed to search for and find it.

In short, I don't like it at all.

But the point of this post is this: Maybe I can write things? So I thought up a short story about Mossy. Something that I most likely wouldn't write in comic form because it wouldn't work the same way.

So, without further ado, this is...

"Mossy's Day -- Part 1: "MORNING"" Written with a vengence by Joshua "Raiettei" L. Azalea Nosinev used with reluctant permission by Madison 'Rain' S.
Based on an untrue story

Brehp! Brehp! Breahp! Breahp!

The klaxon of the young doe's alarm clock was less than ideal in the earliest break of morning. “Just... just a couple more hours... please...” Mossy's voice, barely rasping out.
“Dangit, Moss! Turn that freakin' thing off! It's way too early for this LaRP!” With a pound of her hooved hand, the sharp sound ceased. Zale could still be heard complaining in the next room over.
She turned her head and slammed on the pillow. “It's only four in the morning, and already it's off to a wonderful start...” Her vision blurred, and she silently drifted back to sleep.

The next things she heard were not the most pleasant of things.

“Hurry up and get ready, Moss! School starts in a half hour!” shouted Azalea, Mossy's older brother.

At first, the words had no effect. Obviously, he's messing with me. She thought, I have at LEAST another hour, right? I mean, the clock hasn't even rang yet!
She made a quick glance at the clock out of curiosity, and made a horrifying discovery; Zale was telling the truth.

A few minutes of heroic BSOD later, Mossy sprung from her bed with a strange vigor. (as it later turned out, it was just the blood rushing to her head. But that's not really the point.) She quickly reached for her glasses... a little TOO quickly.
The ocular pair slipped from her grasp and fell behind the headboard. “Crap”

“Hurry up! Don't make me burst in there and drag you out!” Her father was a charming fellow.

She would have to deal with her glasses-problem later. Right now, it would be far more beneficial to get dressed, eh? So she headed over to her dresser. Of course she tripped over her table! What kind of story would it be if she didn't?

Mossy cursed mildly before quickly covering her mouth. Deer shouldn't swear.

After uneventfully getting dressed in her usual attire of a blue and white color-sleeve t-shirt emblazoned with the word “FReeK!” and a modestly long blue patterned skirt, she knew she had to retrieve her glasses from the dreaded underbelly of “Not on top of her bed”.

As she reached down into the horrifying abyss, Zale could be heard stomping up the stairs. “Don't tell me you're still sleeping! You've gotta go!” Just as Mossy was about to announce that she would be downstairs in a moment, the door came crashing open.

There was an equally loud thump heard when Mossys head collided with the shelf above it.

“Owwww...” She rubbed the now soft spot. Zale looked... blank? “Heh. Sorry.”

Mossy shot him a cold look, and continued the search. Azalea simply slinked out of the room, quietly saying “So you'll be right out. Good. Good.”

Her glasses were found in short order. Note to self: Clean the frigging wallspace...

She glanced at the clock, about fifteen minutes left!

Her hair needed to be tamed! No time for a braid!

Mossy's brush is species specific. Its designed to untangle the especially coarse hair of a deer. This of course, hurts like heck. Not only that, but it takes almost literally FOREVER to do.

Mossy does not have almost literally FOREVER to work with.

After a few painful strokes, it was “good enough” for her taste, and a ponytail was born.

Only nine minutes left!? How long was I DOING that!?

She rushed out the door, almost. ALMOST slipped on the stairs, and made one heckuva mad dash towards the door. The car's motor was running. Obviously, her father was waiting. He's a very patient man.

Just as she reached the door handle, Zale made an observation: “What happened to your antlers? I don't think I've EVER seen you without them.”

Mossy was conflicted. Get in the car, and not be late, thus not tarnishing whatever record she may have built up? Or forget keeping a nice attendance and keep up appearances?

Now that she thought about it, she's never told anybody except her best friend, Jyoseph, that her antlers were fake. As such, she couldn't just walk into Jenerin High without anybody noticing.
A lack of these usually-masculine objects would be definitely detrimental to any reputation that she may have had. Good or bad.

She had to go back in the house.

No matter what, nothing could keep her away from this goal.

“You're late”

Mossy's father is a very nonchalant man.


So... It's obvious to me that I haven't written anything in a LOOOONG time.

It's obvious to me that I haven't written anything GOOD in... ever!

So... what'choo think?

Monday, August 31, 2009

Provo City!!!

Just to let ya'lls know, I'll be heading over to Provo City, Utah to find pieces that I could potentially use for my Fireman costume this Friday. (The Fourth of September)

My mission will be a sucess. I can feel it.

(Man, I really wish there were more craft stores around my area. Literally, the closest store is in Provo.)

I've finally finalized the design, and soon, color will come to the plans. Possibly tomorrow, I'll be ready to put them up onto Deviant Art for all to see.

My thought process to making Fire Man: I wanted a Megaman thingie, and I wanted to make the gimmick of the Robot master to be usable. I also wanted the use of my hands. When it came down to it, my options were of the following: Guts Man, Air Man, Heat Man, Magnet Man, Metal Man, and Fire Man.

Guts Man didn't make it through because I would have stupidly decided to carry a rock around for no good reason. (I suck like that)

Air Man didn't make it through because I would like to have a bit more planning to do that one. I still plan on doing him.

Heat Man didn't make it through because the proportions would have been wierd.

Magnet Man didn't make it because... I don't remember. He looks awesome.

Metal Man didn't because... Because I got better plans for him. They'll just take a bit more time than I've got.

So... Fire Man it is!

Sure, the normal design doesn't have hands, but when have I been known for following preset design?

My Fire Man design was created with love, mushing up four diffferent designs: THIS, THIS, THAT, and... THIS

The inspiration for a Fire Man with hands come from THIS (DANG, that Heat Man is scary lookin'!)

Once again, I'd hope that my Fire Man design does all of those concepts justice!

These thoughts went into making him:

He's supposed to be a waste-disposal unit. An incinerator
He believes anything that causes destruction is evil, but fire is cleansing
He has a ridiculously high sense of honor.
When he was reprogrammed by Dr. Wily, his face was damaged by his own flames.

And... I guess that'll be all!


Bit... Map...

So anyway, I spent most of today making pixel arty sprites for :iconsunrise-falls:, and her new comic that's to be released very soon and, after three hours of continuous work, breath a sigh of relief and hit save.

Cool, right?

So later on, I have the urge to work on them just a little bit more, and to my horror, I found out that I accidentally saved it as a JPEG instead of a Bitmap.

I just single-handedly killed every single bit of work I did all day (and night) in one button click.

I'mma go off and cry somewhere.

It was a BSOD moment.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Revenge of the Fallen


"but Rai! If you would just talk about it, people would stop asking!"
"By George, you're right, annonoymous person that can't possibly exist!"

And so I did. You get what you ask for...

ROTF is a fitting title. "Revenge is mine!" --The Fallen.

It was a horrible movie. I'll be blunt.

However, I enjoyed it. Very VERY muchly. The second time was FAR more enjoyable than the first. I already knew what to expect, and so I wasn't as shocked.

Both times, I had this BIG stupid grin on my face the entire movie. Except for that one part. But I'll get around to that.

Some parts would have been better in print. I mean, to this day, the Arcees are still called the "Arcee Twins" due to how Josh Duhamel shouted their names (For the record, he said "Arcee! Twins! The Decepticon's headed in your direction!")

People keep saying that Devastator should have done more, and I agree. However, I know the exact REASON why he did as little as he did. He was friggin' expensive. In order to do ONE FRAME of his animation, ILM had to use up over 85% of their computers. Some of which burned out BECAUSE of Devvy. However, he did the job he was called on to do; he 'devastated' the pyramid. So... good for him!

You're probably expecting me to have hated the Twins, eh? Sorry. I was neutral with them. They didn't do anything useful to the plot, granted, but they didn't do anything detrimental, either. They were just... there. Their dialogue? I don't know why everybody says they're racist. I just saw them as two goofy lookin', goofy talkin', stupid teenagers. Emphasis on the 'stupid' part. Before the movie came out, at BotCon, I took it upon myself to buy Skids there. On his packaging, it even says that the Twins are stupid! (It also says that Skids THINKS he's the smart one. Go figure) They got the coolest altmode, though. That ice cream truck at the beginning was awesome. I knew it would be when I first saw it a year ago in leaked pictures. When I saw the toy of it at BotCon, I knew it would be mine. Now I've got it, and it looks awesome!

I got distracted there. Woo.

The Autobots got more... how I say... gray area? With this movie. You know that opening scene? In Shanghai? That big scary excavator? Demolishor? He was a caretaker of a SHELTER for SCARED and ALONE Decepticons! It says so right on his box! And that Audi R8 that gets sliced in half by Sideswipe? Sideways? Did he do ANYTHING to the Autobots? I mean... He didn't even shoot back at the Arcees! His only crime was his insignia! The first thing he did when his was found out? He RAN! He was a SCARED DECEPTICON! One of the many that Demolishor was SHELTERING! And back to Demolishor, he was mean, but he didn't do anything to anyone, really. He only transformed when the soldiers found him out and surrounded him. The first thing he does is cause a distraction and get rid of some of the surrounding gunfire. Then he ran. Granted, he did cause a WHOLE lot more damage than Sideways, who only bursted through a building, but my point still stands. His final words, "This planet is not yours for the taking. The Fallen will rise again!" can totally just be interpreted as "Your reign of terror can't last forever. There will come a day when even YOUR spark is extinguished." And he was sorta ambiguous about the whole "Not yours" part. He didn't explicitly say that it was the Decepticon's planet, either...
On the subject of The Fallen, He never did anything particularly villainous. He wants to power his dying planet. The closest star is our Sun. However, Earth has a civillization. How many lightyears away is the next closest star? 4.37? Yeah. I thought so. So he's willing to let ONE planet die for another. Yes, that was a wrong decision, yes I don't want him to make it, but I'm sorta seeing that he's desperate. The other Primes, rather than leaving en masse, died and let their corpses become a secret tomb, where the Matrix of Leadership, which is sorta the KEY for the Solar Harvesters, which creates Energon, which is the main source of power for all Cybertronians (Transformers). (whew!) The Fallen, now with a limited supply of power, (as the Primes created one more of them, and gave all of their power to him, and the Primes all share one power supply,) simply lounges on the starship Nemesis, with a bunch of dying baby Decepticons.


Now on to the subject of Jolt... was he even IN this movie? Seriously. He did absolutely nothing. I've got nothing more to say that's not on this page here: JOLT

Last thing: The part that I didn't grin at: Ravage's death.
That cool cat was awesome! Right up until he chose the WRONGEST time to try to sneak attack the newly kill fetish'd Bumblebee. Seriously. I saw the offending scene at BotCon, and I was like "Oooh! Ravage! Man! He's so awesome, I just wanna--AUAGHTHOPHARGLE!!!"

So without further ado: Here's THIS

Another thing that really ticks me off is the release date for it on DVD and BluRay... October 22nd!
Will it even be OUT OF DOLLAR THEATRES by then!?
(You know I'll totally get it on the first day. I'm predictable like that.)

But That's all I got.

--Got the Point?


Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Anime Banzai (The beginning...)

Three months ago, a dude named Lysander told me about this convention called Anime Banzai that's being held in Salt Lake City in October. He told me that I could FINALLY meet somebody from the Internet! But I was all like "cool! But... I'm all convention'd out... Maybe if I feel up to it..."

Last Sunday, it came up again. But not from who I SAW it coming from.

You may know Lauren (As you're pretty much the only person that reads this.). She told me about this convention called Anime Banzai taht's being held in Salt Lake City in October. She told me she would be going. In costume (whether or not I say what that is, is up to her). And I should go too. And I should wear a costume.

I guess I'll see Lysander after all?

But that's not the only reason I'm going FAAAAAR from it.

It's been over a year since I've seen ANYBODY I can call a friend. Technically, I can't call Maddi one. She's called sister. Or cousin. Whatever I'm feeling like at the time. But that's not the point. (But she's usually called Rain. Again, not the point.) I'm feeling pretty jazzed to finally see Lauren again! *coughI'mbeingselfishIcantelldon'ttellmeIalreadyagreecough*

And a costume? Knowing me, it'd probably be some stupid Transformers stuff or something, right?


NOBODY (including myself) expected me to begin a costume of... drumroll, please? ...FIRE MAN!


(I wanted something genuinely Japanese, and not "technically Japanese... if you squint" like Transformers is. Fire Man was the best looking Robot Master in my colony of editors (consisting of exactly two people), so I went with him.)

I current-designed him, and he looks awesome. I can't wait until I finally get my Flame Busters! I've been tossing around ideas for a while now, and Fire Man wasn't one of them. I got inspired when I saw this custom action figure of him: (Side note: My version looks NOTHING like that version.I wanted to be creative :3 However, I DID borrow the design of the fuel tanks on his back, and the rubber tubes coming into his Flame Busters. Because that was just logical.)

I'll eventually post my design up on Deviant Art when I'm ready for it to be unleashed.

Oh! And I'll be uncharacteristically carrying along a Met plushie. Because Mets are AWESOME.

This is all.

--Got the Point?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Just one more hour!

So... late at night, I was debating whether or not to buy this book now or later. I chose now. The book cost 19.85, and I had no rewards dollars with me. (Each reward dollar is equivalent to $5) So after about a half hour of should I or shouldn't I, I decided to go for it.

Not less than ten minutes later, I get an email stating that a sale started on EVERY book they had (New releases included) for 50% off everything. The sale started at midnight. I bought the book at 11:52.


Just wanted to share.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Oh noes! Rai's created ANOTHER blog!

I guess I should start by telling you random uninteresting things about me! So...

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology" Then tag 20 people of your choice. Once you have been tagged you can do it and then tag the person that tagged you! (Wait... what the LaRP?)


Salad Dressing of Choice: None (My salads go bare!)

Favorite Sit-Down Restaurant: None (I've never had enough money to make it practical to go to one of those...)

Food I Could Eat for Two Weeks Straight: Rai's Macaroni (I'll never tell my fawesome cooking secrets!)

Pizza Toppings of Choice: Pepperoni

Stuff on Toast: Butter. Cheese if I'm adventurous.


TVs in My House: 3 (How many that work? 1.5)

Color Cell Phone: None

First Text Message in Inbox:

Last Person to Call: Anybody

Lefty or Righty: Right

Ever had anything removed from your body?: Appendix

Last Heavy Thing Lifted: Beds and shelves. ALWAYS the beds and shelves!


Would you want to know the day you will die?: I'd prefer not.

Change your name: Err... what? Um... ....what?

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce?: Nope.

How many pairs of flip-flops?: Absolutely none

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?: The cops are our friends. Josh and Trey are especially awesome.

Last Person talked to in Person: Mom.

Favorite Month: June (The most awesome stuff begins that month!)


Missing someone right now?: Quite a few people, actually...

Mood?: Meh.

Listening to: ...I'd rather not say.

Watching: Never.

Worrying about: The thunder outside...


Last movie watched: Race to Witch Mountain

Smile often?: I'd hope so.

Do you always answer your phone?: Nope. I've never owned one.

If you could change your eye color, what would it be?: Green! (Because I've never seen anybody with green eyes around here)

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?: None. Sonic's are very uncommon around here...

Do you own a digital camera?: Yeppers

Did you ever have a pet fish?: Three of them. The largest of which is named Mr. Spatula

Favorite Christmas song?: Meh.

What’s on your wish list for your birthday?: Awesomely nerdy things. (A pen set would be nice...)

Can you do push ups?: Err... no.

Can you do chin ups?: Also no.

Does the future make you more nervous or excited?: The future's alright. It's the PAST that worries me.

Do you have any saved texts?: What are these "TEXTS" you speak of?

Ever been in a car wreck?: Three seperate times! (Almost deaths #s 3, 4, and 8!)

Do you have an accent?: I have a somewhat unique accent called "Basinese." It's a result of living under a rock in a rocky place in Utah.

What is the last song to make you cry?: I have never cried to music.

Plans tonight?: I just watched JAVGW. It's what I do EVERY Sunday.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?: One time. It turned out to be poisoning in the air, though. (Almost death #9)

Name 3 things you bought recently?: ROTF Long Haul, A pack of AAAs, and a jug of lactose-free milk.

Have you ever been given roses?: I wish!

Current worry?: My gift to a person gets lost in the mail. It happened before.

Current hate right now?: The black widow infestation of the bathroom has gone nuclear.

Met someone who changed your life: Quite a few, actually. If not for them, I wouldn't be as 'cheerful' or 'interesting' as I am today!

Name 3 people you think might complete this: Maddi, definately. Otherwise, who knows?

What were you doing 12AM last night?: Attempting to sleep through my sleep disorder...

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?: ...I'mma get me a sammich.

...and I tag anybody who reads this last sentence...

Good day.


--Got the Point?